The growing cost of family disintegration and loneliness

By Bharat Dogra 

There has been growing concern in recent decades about the breakdown and disintegration of families. Although an enormous body of data and research exists on this issue, it has generally not been possible to achieve significant success in reversing these trends or improving the situation. To achieve better results, efforts to strengthen and protect families must be more closely integrated with wider efforts to improve communities and social relationships. The values needed to improve social relations are largely the same as those required for healthy family life.

In the United States and several leading European countries, the number of recorded divorces in a typical year amounts to between 40 and 55 per cent of recorded marriages. In China, the divorce-to-marriage ratio is around 44 per cent, while in some urban centres it exceeds 50 per cent. In Japan, the corresponding figure is about 35 per cent.

While precise data are often lacking, considerable anecdotal evidence suggests that divorces and separations are frequently accompanied by intense conflict and hostility. Beyond divorce statistics, there are many indications of persistent discord within families. This has occurred despite increasing evidence and repeated warnings that domestic conflict and violence, followed by divorce or separation, can have serious adverse effects on children. Such experiences can lead to emotional and mental health problems that persist into adulthood and, in more severe cases, may contribute to self-harm or suicide attempts.

As relationships break down, or as people become increasingly reluctant to enter into them, the tendency to live alone has risen sharply in several societies. In the United States and the United Kingdom, single-person households now account for about 30 per cent of all households. In the European Union and China, the figure is around 20 per cent. In Japan, approximately 36 per cent of households consist of a single person, and this proportion continues to grow.

In 2018, the United Kingdom became the first country to appoint a minister specifically tasked with addressing the growing problem of loneliness. Around the same time, studies revealed that nearly 200,000 elderly people living alone had not spoken to a friend or relative for an entire month. Surveys linked loneliness not only to depression but also to a heightened risk of heart attacks, strokes, and dementia. Doctors reported seeing between one and five patients a day whose primary difficulty was loneliness.

Japan later became the second major country to appoint a minister to address loneliness. More than half a million people—541,000 to be precise—had been identified as hikikomori, social recluses who withdraw from almost all social contact, sometimes for years, confining themselves to their homes. One important cause of this phenomenon has been identified as the intense pressure created by excessive academic and professional expectations.

A survey conducted by the technology company Kaspersky found that nearly 55 per cent of Japanese respondents reported experiencing loneliness even before the COVID-19 pandemic. Social capital, which refers to trusted social networks and relationships, was found to be relatively weak in Japan. In a Legatum Institute study measuring social capital, Japan ranked 132nd among 167 countries.

Increasing concern has also been expressed regarding loneliness among younger people, including teenagers, and its disturbing connection with self-harm. The relationship between loneliness and self-harm has been particularly worrying among those up to around 40 years of age. This challenges the common assumption that loneliness is primarily a problem affecting the elderly.

In the United States, a survey by Cigna found that almost half of all adults reported feeling lonely sometimes or always. Loneliness has been linked to several serious health problems. A study by Kassandra Alcaraz, based on records of more than half a million people, found a significantly higher risk of premature death among those experiencing social isolation. Research by Dr Nicole Valtorta identified a 30 per cent increased risk of stroke and coronary heart disease, while research at the Florida State University College of Medicine found a 40 per cent higher risk of dementia. Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, researchers were describing loneliness as an “epidemic.”

Loneliness should not be viewed in isolation. Rather, it must be understood as part of broader social trends that increasingly emphasize material success at the expense of relationships, individual advancement at the expense of community well-being, and self-centred thinking at the expense of wider social engagement.

Unfortunately, such a broader understanding has often been missing from many well-intentioned initiatives. These efforts tend to focus on alleviating symptoms rather than addressing the deeper causes of loneliness and family disintegration. As a result, they may provide temporary relief but fail to deliver durable solutions.

One can only hope that a better understanding of not only the seriousness of family breakdown and loneliness but also their wider social dimensions will lead to greater attention being paid to lasting solutions. For this, it is important to emphasize simple social values that are easily understood yet capable of bringing about profound change. We should strive, as far as possible, to avoid causing distress to others. We should reject violence and the desire to dominate others. We should make a sincere effort to understand differing points of view. Above all, we should seek to be honest, caring, and compassionate in our relationships.

These may appear to be simple principles, but their consistent practice in everyday life can make a significant difference. They can help create a more caring society and strengthen relationships at every level, including the closest and most important relationships within families.

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The writer is a journalist and author and serves as Honorary Convener of the Campaign to Save Earth Now. His recent books include Man over Machine and Protecting Earth for Children. His website is bharatdogra.in