Love in the time of WhatsApp: Breaking the barriers of caste and distance in "modern" India

Subhadra

By Rahul Banerjee*
A young cousin of Subhadra Khaperde, a well-known social worker with the Mahila Jagat Lihaaz Samiti or Society for Respect for Women and Earth, also known as MAJLIS, formed by Dalit and Adivasi women of western Madhya Pradesh, had been dating with a man living in Banda district of Uttar Pradesh. Hailing from Kanker district of Chhattisgarh, the girl continued dating for over a year and a half on WhatsApp.

Finally they decided to marry and broke this news to their respective families. The first thing that these families, situated deep in rural areas, asked was about the caste of the partner.
All hell broke lose for the young woman. She was a Mahar, a Dalit caste, while the man was a Brahmin. The Mahars in Chhattisgarh are very endogamous and put a hefty fine on and ostracise any family from which a son or daughter marries outside the caste.
The girl's family had been trying to marry her off to prospective Mahar boys for quite some time, but since the girl was staying in Kanker town and working as a dental assistant in a private clinic, she had a mind of her own and refused to agree to the various suitors. And now the girl had dropped a bombshell that she was going to marry a Brahmin boy all the way from Banda in Uttar Pradesh.
Anyway, since there were many members in the extended family who were educated and in jobs, and also some who had married outside the caste, eventually the boy's father, brother-in-law and the boy came down to the girl's village and they met face to face for the first time.
The girl's family asked how the boy would reconcile his caste people to the fact that he was marrying a Dalit. The boy replied that they were to say that they were Saryu Brahmins if asked by anyone about caste and he would handle everything else! So a Dalit Mahar girl would take a dip in the Vedic purity of the Sarayu River and become a Brahmin!
The marriage took place a few days ago in a rented Dharmshala in Chitrakoot, which is a temple town in Madhya Pradesh. Subhadra was invited to attend the marriage because of her experience in these matters. She had blazed the trail by snaring a Bengali Brahmin (Bangali Maharaj in Chhattisgarhi) and had successfully kept him in leash for twenty five years!
The boy had persistently stonewalled all efforts by the girl's family to visit his home saying that is against the custom in Banda. Subhadra would have none of it, however, and so she hired a car and with some family members went to the boy's village in Banda to check out his credentials.
They found that the boy's family lived in a small mudhouse with roof tiles of baked clay and that contrary to his statements that he was in a flourishing business, learnt that he actually ran a tea stall! The family had some agricultural land, but these days farming in Bundelkhand is in severe crisis.
So the family was just about making ends meet. Some of the girl's family said that since the house was so small they had made a mistake in buying many things like sofa sets, fridges and the like and they should sell them back again!
Subhadra, however, said that the family looked to be good at heart even if it did not have much wealth and since the girl was a skilled girl and was in love with the boy who were they to intervene.She said that when she had married then she and her husband were also penniless!
After they came back from their investigations, the boy phoned the girl to say that if the family had seen his house before then the marriage would not have taken place. The girl then asked anxiously what was the scene in Banda to which Subhadra replied -- "Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya".
This is modern India -- a poor Brahmin boy from a village in Banda gets hitched to a poor Mahar girl from Kanker breaking the barriers of caste and distance through WhatsApp!
---
Source: Facebook timeline of Rahul Banerjee

Comments

Uma Sheth said…

Good news. I hope this spreads and the Hindu Taliban learn something from this

March 16, 2018

India performs 'poorly' in Quality of Life Index, ranks 62nd out of 64 countries

Counterview Desk “Expat Insider”, which claims to be one of the world’s most extensive surveys about living and working abroad, in a survey of 20,259 participants from around the globe, has found that of the 64 destinations around the globe, has found that while Taiwan is the best destination for persons living outside their native country, closely by Vietnam and Portugal, India ranks 59th.

India's GDP down by 50%, not 23%, job loss 200 million not 122 million: Top economist

By Our Representative One of India’s topmost economists has estimated that India’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) decline was around 50%, and not 23%, as claimed by the Government of India’s top data body, National Statistical Organization (NSO). Prof Arun Kumar, who is Malcolm S Adiseshiah chair professor, Institute of Social Sciences, New Delhi, said this was delivering a web policy speech, organised by the Impact and Policy Research Institute (IMPRI), New Delhi.

Youngest of 16 activists jailed for sedition, Mahesh Raut 'fought' mining on tribal land

By Surabhi Agarwal, Sandeep Pandey* A compassionate human being, always popular among his friends and colleagues because of his friendly nature and human sensitivity, 33-year-old Mahesh Raut, champion of the democratic rights of the marginalised Adivasi people of Gadchiroli, Maharashtra, has been in prison for over two years now.

Human development index: India performs worse than G-20 developing countries

By Rajiv Shah A new book, “Sustainable Development in India: A Comparison with the G-20”, authored by Dr Keshab Chandra Mandal, has regretted that though India’s GDP has doubled over the last one decade, its human development indicators are worse than not just developed countries of the Group of 20 countries but also developing countries who its members.

#StandWithStan: It's about Constitution, democracy and freedom of expression

By Fr Cedric Prakash SJ* It is more than three weeks now: On the night of October 8, 2020, the 83-year-old Jesuit Fr Stan Swamy was taken into custody by the National Intelligence Agency (NIA) from his residence in Ranchi to an undisclosed destination. According to his colleagues, the NIA did not serve a warrant on Fr. Stan and that their behaviour was absolutely arrogant and rude.

Stan Swamy vs Arnab Goswami: Are activists fighting a losing battle? Whither justice?

By Fr Sunil Macwan SJ* It is time one raised pertinent questions over the courts denying bail to Fr Stan Swamy, who was arrested under the Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act (UAPA), and granting it to Arnab Goswami, editor-in-chief of the Republic TV, arrested under the charge of abetting suicide of Avay Naik, who ended his life in 2018. It is travesty of justice that a human rights activist is not only denied bail but is also made to wait for weeks to hear a response to his legitimate request for a straw to drink water, while Arnab Goswami walks free.

India among heavily impacted by Covid-19, China 'notoriously' evading transparency

By NS Venkataraman* With the year 2020 inevitably ending in the next few weeks, the thought amongst the people all over the world is whether the coming year 2021 will be free of Covid-19 (often dubbed as Wuhan virus, as it known to have spread from Wuhan in China).In the early 2020, many people thought that Covid-19 would be a localized affair in China but later on, it proved to be a global pandemic.

Namaz in Mathura temple: Haridwar, Ayodhya monks seek Faisal Khan's release

By Our Representative As many as 23 members of the Hindu Voices for Peace (HVP), including the founder president of the well-known Haridwar-based Matri Sadan Ashram, Swami Shivananda Saraswati, and a one of its top monks, Brahmachari Aatmabodhanand, have expressed their “dismay” over the arrest of Khudai Khidmatdar chief Faisal Khan and three others on charges of “promoting enmity between religions” and “defiling a place of worship” after they offered namaz in Mathura’s Nand Baba temple premises on October 29.

Buddhist shrines massively destroyed by Brahmanical rulers in "pre-Islamic" era: Historian DN Jha's survey

Nalanda mahavihara By Our Representative Prominent historian DN Jha, an expert in India's ancient and medieval past, in his new book , "Against the Grain: Notes on Identity, Intolerance and History", in a sharp critique of "Hindutva ideologues", who look at the ancient period of Indian history as "a golden age marked by social harmony, devoid of any religious violence", has said, "Demolition and desecration of rival religious establishments, and the appropriation of their idols, was not uncommon in India before the advent of Islam".

Government of India 'refuses' to admit: 52% of bird species show declining trend

Finn's Weaver By Our Representative The Government of India has been pushing out “misleading” data on the country’s drastic wildlife decline, says a well-researched report, pointing towards how top ministers are hiding data on biodiversity losses, even as obfuscating its own data. It quotes “State of India’s Birds Report 2020” to note that of the 261 out of 867 bird species for which long-term trends could be determined, 52% have declined since the year 2000, with 22% declining strongly.

Search This Blog