The murder of Saksham Tete, a Dalit described as a ‘jaibhim wallah’ by the family of his girlfriend Anchal Mamidwar in Nanded, should not surprise anyone. The bitter and brutal fact is that we are a highly caste-conscious society, and anyone venturing beyond caste boundaries must be prepared for the repercussions that Saksham faced. There is not one single caste, region, or identity to be blamed for this. The reality is that we are all proud of our castes, and anyone who crosses the red line becomes unwanted and unaccepted.
Baba Saheb Ambedkar spoke of the annihilation of caste, but that would mean the annihilation of primitive brahmanical values where jaatis have become the sole identity. There is no other way to appreciate a person’s achievements except when he or she belongs to your jaati. Every caste carries an inherent supremacist attitude towards others, which is why Ambedkar explained it as “graded inequality.” He went further to describe the psychology of caste supremacism as an ascending order of reverence and a descending order of contempt.
Saksham Tete was a Buddhist youth who fell in love with Anchal Mamidwar. In Maharashtra, Buddhists in the Dalit community are predominantly Mahar, while Anchal belonged to an SBC, or Special Backward Community. Her particular jaati seems to have been Padmashali, traditionally associated with weaving. According to Anchal, her family opposed Saksham because he was a ‘jaibhim wallah.’ She even said that Saksham was ready to convert to Hinduism.
The worst part of this story is that Saksham and Anchal’s relationship was well known to her family, who pretended to accept it. That pretense was a strategy to get closer to him, and one day they murdered Saksham. The tragedy did not end there. In defiance, Anchal married Saksham’s corpse, applied sindoor, and demanded that her parents and brothers be hanged. Her act was born of grief and emotion, but her life must now be rebuilt. She must ensure justice for Saksham, while elders must empower her economically and allow her to live by her own choices. She has left her parental home and is staying at Saksham’s house, which will be a challenge. Many young women have done this, but the socio-cultural and economic crises they face are tremendous.
It is a fact that self-arranged marriages, whether inter-caste or inter-religious, are not accepted in Indian society. Whatever self-proclaimed progressives may suggest, the bitter truth is that interfaith couples face problems not only from outside but also within, due to cultural clashes. Over the last two decades, the Indian middle class has grown increasingly attached to “traditional values” and the greatness of caste, resulting in the rejection of anyone outside their jaati.
Inter-caste and inter-religious marriages are nearly impossible today. They will only be possible if we become a society of individuals where no one is bothered about who you marry, what you eat, or where you dine. But that is difficult now. Food habits, sexuality, and caste identities are flaunted everywhere. The gap is widening. Friendship grows when you learn to appreciate others, but we are fast becoming caste supremacists, filled with both love and hatred against others. In such cases, our minds stop working rationally and function only according to prejudices injected since childhood.
Our political process today shows that there is no unity among people in terms of identity. Each one of us wants to maintain a separate identity for personal gain. Whether the community benefits or not, some individuals gain in its name, and they continue to speak against those who cross the red line. That is why very few speak against such violence. Political parties rarely oppose it, as it threatens their identity politics. They only use such incidents when they serve their political games. Unfortunately, not every incident becomes political enough to be raised by parties.
Equally important is that the annihilation of caste, as envisaged by Ambedkar, has been rejected by the majority of Dalit-Bahujan communities that remain part of the brahmanical system. Their unity is limited to politics of space and nothing beyond. Communities are not interested in reforms; they want their share in power and resources. Beyond that, there is no interest in introspection or change.
Anti-caste violence and patriarchal imposition are not just the work of Brahmins or Savarnas. OBC communities too emerge as the biggest gatekeepers of brahmanical patriarchy. Cases of violence against Dalits in Maharashtra, Telangana, Tamil Nadu, Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, and elsewhere show that political unity is possible, but jaatis refuse to cross their identity lines, which they consider sacrosanct. Any crossing of that line is seen as a challenge to caste patriarchy.
What should individuals do? Young boys and girls must understand that the administrative or political setup cannot protect them if they cross caste boundaries. Sadly, this is a dark reality in our part of the world. They become isolated. Individuals depend on community, and therefore must think carefully before entering into any alliance. One must be prepared to leave the community and migrate to cities. You never know who will turn out to be your enemy.
This problem will persist as long as culture and tradition are glorified above all else. Today, our youth are being made passive, accepting whatever is fed into their minds, and the result is what we see now. Our Constitution gives us rights as individuals, but politics of identity is growing. It is not easy in our country, where each identity lives in the illusion of a “glorious” past and a “golden” future. This strengthens community identity but reduces the space for individuals to act on their own will.
Will this stop? I don’t think you can stop love. As boys and girls get more avenues to meet—through social media, education, and other spaces—they will continue to fall in love. Despite murders and the failure of the state, you cannot stop young people from loving each other.
Love is the supreme power, a feeling each of us desires, though elders will always worry about it. Youth must understand that loving each other does not erase identity; they must learn to appreciate and understand one another. But in our society, it is not enough for the couple to love each other—their families must also accept it. That is impossible as long as caste supremacism exists.
Couples can only survive if their parents are supportive; otherwise, they must leave and settle elsewhere. Economic autonomy is crucial, because as long as they depend on families and property, life will remain threatening if they belong to different castes. Each caste has a self-glorifying theme that dislikes or feels uncomfortable with others in marriage relations.
The idea of annihilation of caste is unacceptable to the public at large, and caste supremacists annihilate those who speak against it. Love is the biggest threat to the hierarchical caste order. Traditional marriage systems sanctify caste supremacism and purity. The sanctity of marriage based on varna vyavastha is the root cause; otherwise, nobody would care.
When we can have friends from different communities, why should marriage stop at the door of caste? It is only to protect jaatis and their supremacy. If people are allowed to marry as individuals, the castle of caste will collapse, along with the edifice that glorifies it. The question is, are we ready for it?
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*Human rights defender
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