Skip to main content

Job opportunity in unexplored territory... to bulldoze hurdles on way to Akhand Aryavart

By Abdul Puncharwala* 
Baba and Mama the Jai-Veeru Jodi of Shuddh desi politics bring an excellent opportunity of employment to all the bright matriculate drop-outs busy with their Insta and YouTube reels. Keep your phones aside for a moment and read this advert carefully. It is going to change your life forever.
We the Duo of Uttam Des and Madhyam Des, the pranth Pradhan sevaks, have decided to join hands like Jai – Veeru of Sholay and institute a School (gurukul) to impart world class training to bright young and energetic school drop-outs in training how to run Bulldozers. Our cherished mission is to help our thespian of Aryavart politics Thakur Baldev Singh aka Mudizee in his pious mission of achieving Vishwaguru status to our Thanatan nation by getting rid of pests like Gabbars and Babur Ki aulads. The selection will be purely on the basis of merit after rigorous military style recruitment process. The selected candidates shall undergo an intensive training at either of the two campuses at Bhorakhpur or Godhini. 
Apart from technical education the candidates shall also be trained in dharmic values by renowned pracharaks from Santrapur. As a bonus they will also be trained in mixed martial arts by super star celebrity Canada Kumar. The course shall be of one year duration however our first batch will graduate in seven months and immediately absorbed in various Uttam Des and Madhyam Des municipalities on an attractive starting basic salary of 17500/- plus HRA and CCA wherever applicable Gross starting monthly salary would be approximately 27500/- and take home pay would be an auspicious number of 22151/- . TA and DA on actuals are also paid on reimbursement basis. The selected employees will be on a probation of 6 months post which their performance will be evaluated objectively on various parameters such as the number of constructions razed etc. Once confirmed the employee will also become eligible for perks such as housing loan on attractive interest rates, LTA facility to pilgrimage places such as Chardhaam yatra, Vaishnodevi darshan etc.
Here is one more attractive deal …. Post demolition of an ‘illegal’ structure the JCB Pilot is allowed to salvage the windows and doors from the rubble and use them in the construction of his house. However he is barred from salvaging and selling the steel bars of razed concrete structures as the same shall be transported by Municipality to designated govt authorized smeltering foundries where these will be melted and forged into weapons of defence to be stored in safe custody of state armouries. Such armouries shall be guarded 24/7 by Thanathani yuva vahini volunteers and Jabjrang Bal bahubalis.
Apart from this the pilots are encouraged to associate themselves with Vahini volunteers and keep their ears to the ground for underground movement of patherbaz miyas and pass on the information to shakha pramukhs. Please note that whenever riots erupt the JCB pilots would be alerted to be ready to be on duty at short notice and wait for orders to pilot their JCBs through the narrow lanes and by lanes of poor neighbourhood for the higher cause of nation building by destroying the ugly shanties and shops of the Miya bhaios and Behnos. After all is it not the cherished wish of our dear HH Samrat (Hindu Hriday samrat) Mogliji to make the nation ‘Swach Aryavart’ is it not?
Pilots even if on leave have standing instructions to cancel / cut short their leave and join duty in service of Aryavart. When JBB (Jabjrang Bal bahubalis) are in a playful mood they may decide to accompany the dozers with a tempo full of speakers and Dhinchak DJ music of aryatva pop stars blaring patriotic tunes and brandishing swords and kattas and tamanchas (local made guns).
Once in a while a pilot may also be instructed to use his dozer bucket to tinker with a compound wall of a savarna Shukla who in a playful mood might have gone a bit tipsy and decided to play shower shower with a tribal Rawat. My... my what a ruckus it created. Poor Mama had to summon the already very wet and frightened man to his residence and wash his feet in full glare of cameras as penance. The JCB pilot has to curb his enthusiasm and not demolish the whole structure in such cases. There has to be a show of destruction for the cameras and not actual demolition.
It is also heartening to note that many Pranth Pradhan sevaks have taken cue from our initiative and have started equipping their municipalities with one Bulldozer at least and have initiated punitive action again the patherbaaz by razing their ugly eye sores to rubble. Of late Baldish Clutter, Pranth Pramukh of Subjiyana has also enthusiastically taken to razing and dozing ordering clearance of uncouth hutments in hun pranth. May be in future Baba-Mama duo may become a multi starrer Baba – Mama- Chacha the three musketeer pioneers. Our aim in the immediate future is to expand our caravan to become dirty dozen and then on to touch the magic figure of Suyodhan’s Hundred.
So Dear Naujavaan friends there are opportunities galore in this hitherto unexplored territory which beckons you to join forces in Nation building by bulldozing. In this poignant moment we the Jai-Veeru recall the wise words of our Kulshresht, the grand old man of Thanatani politics “Zameen Ko Samtal karna Padega”.
So we the true foot soldiers of Thanatan tradition live and let others die by the ideals of our ancestry and urge you to do the same.

Comments

TRENDING

A comrade in culture and controversy: Yao Wenyuan’s revolutionary legacy

By Harsh Thakor*  This year marks two important anniversaries in Chinese revolutionary history—the 20th death anniversary of Yao Wenyuan, and the 50th anniversary of his seminal essay "On the Social Basis of the Lin Biao Anti-Party Clique". These milestones invite reflection on the man whose pen ignited the first sparks of the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution and whose sharp ideological interventions left an indelible imprint on the political and cultural landscape of socialist China.

The Vande Mataram debate and the politics of manufactured controversy

By Vidya Bhushan Rawat*  The recent Vande Mataram debate in Parliament was never meant to foster genuine dialogue. Each political party spoke past the other, addressing its own constituency, ensuring that clips went viral rather than contributing to meaningful deliberation. The objective was clear: to construct a Hindutva narrative ahead of the Bengal elections. Predictably, the Lok Sabha will likely expunge the opposition’s “controversial” remarks while retaining blatant inaccuracies voiced by ministers and ruling-party members. The BJP has mastered the art of inserting distortions into parliamentary records to provide them with a veneer of historical legitimacy.

Proposals for Babri Masjid, Ram Temple spark fears of polarisation before West Bengal polls

By A Representative   A political debate has emerged in West Bengal following recent announcements about plans for new religious structures in Murshidabad district, including a proposed mosque to be named Babri Masjid and a separate announcement by a BJP leader regarding the construction of a Ram temple in another location within Behrampur.

Ahmedabad's Sabarmati riverfront under scrutiny after Subhash Bridge damage

By Rosamma Thomas*  Large cracks have appeared on Subhash Bridge across the Sabarmati in Ahmedabad, close to the Gandhi Ashram . Built in 1973, this bridge, named after Subhash Chandra Bose , connects the eastern and western parts of the city and is located close to major commercial areas. The four-lane bridge has sidewalks for pedestrians, and is vital for access to Ashram Road , Ellis Bridge , Gandhinagar and the Sabarmati Railway Station .

Urgent need to study cause of large number of natural deaths in Gulf countries

By Venkatesh Nayak* According to data tabled in Parliament in April 2018, there are 87.76 lakh (8.77 million) Indians in six Gulf countries, namely Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates (UAE). While replying to an Unstarred Question (#6091) raised in the Lok Sabha, the Union Minister of State for External Affairs said, during the first half of this financial year alone (between April-September 2018), blue-collared Indian workers in these countries had remitted USD 33.47 Billion back home. Not much is known about the human cost of such earnings which swell up the country’s forex reserves quietly. My recent RTI intervention and research of proceedings in Parliament has revealed that between 2012 and mid-2018 more than 24,570 Indian Workers died in these Gulf countries. This works out to an average of more than 10 deaths per day. For every US$ 1 Billion they remitted to India during the same period there were at least 117 deaths of Indian Workers in Gulf ...

No action yet on complaint over assault on lawyer during Tirunelveli public hearing

By A Representative   A day after a detailed complaint was filed seeking disciplinary action against ten lawyers in Tirunelveli for allegedly assaulting human rights lawyer Dr. V. Suresh, no action has yet been taken by the Bar Council of Tamil Nadu and Puducherry, according to the People’s Union for Civil Liberties (PUCL).

From natural farming to fair prices: Young entrepreneurs show a new path

By Bharat Dogra   There have been frequent debates on agro-business companies not showing adequate concern for the livelihoods of small farmers. Farmers’ unions have often protested—generally with good reason—that while they do not receive fair returns despite high risks and hard work, corporate interests that merely process the crops produced by farmers earn disproportionately high profits. Hence, there is a growing demand for alternative models of agro-business development that demonstrate genuine commitment to protecting farmer livelihoods.

Myanmar prepares for elections widely seen as a junta-controlled exercise

By Nava Thakuria*  Trouble-torn Myanmar (also known as Burma or Brahmadesh) is preparing for three-phase national elections starting on 28 December 2025, with results expected in January 2026. Several political parties—primarily proxies of the Burmese military junta—are participating, while Aung San Suu Kyi’s National League for Democracy (NLD) remains banned. Observers expect a one-sided contest where junta-backed candidates are likely to dominate.

Epic war against caste system is constitutional responsibility of elected government

Edited by well-known Gujarat Dalit rights leader Martin Macwan, the book, “Bhed-Bharat: An Account of Injustice and Atrocities on Dalits and Adivasis (2014-18)” (available in English and Gujarati*) is a selection of news articles on Dalits and Adivasis (2014-2018) published by Dalit Shakti Prakashan, Ahmedabad. Preface to the book, in which Macwan seeks to answer key questions on why the book is needed today: *** The thought of compiling a book on atrocities on Dalits and thus present an overall Indian picture had occurred to me a long time ago. Absence of such a comprehensive picture is a major reason for a weak social and political consciousness among Dalits as well as non-Dalits. But gradually the idea took a different form. I found that lay readers don’t understand numbers and don’t like to read well-researched articles. The best way to reach out to them was storytelling. As I started writing in Gujarati and sharing the idea of the book with my friends, it occurred to me that while...